The Power of Being Real

Over the years—through life transitions, professional shifts, and countless conversations—I’ve come to deeply value one quality above all in both personal and professional relationships: authenticity. It’s not a buzzword to me; it’s a guiding principle. When we choose to show up as our real selves, we not only feel more grounded and whole—we invite others to do the same. And that can be transformative.

In my personal life, authenticity means letting go of the need to “perform” or pretend I have it all together. I’ve spent too many years believing I needed to be polished, prepared, and perfect to earn love, respect, or even a seat at the table. But the truth is, the moments when I’ve been most real—sharing fears, asking for help, admitting mistakes—have been the moments when the deepest connections formed.

Professionally, authenticity has been equally powerful. As a coach, consultant, and speaker, I’ve learned that people respond not to my credentials, but to my humanity. Clients trust me not because I have the right answer, but because I show up with curiosity, integrity, and openness. Authenticity allows space for vulnerability, and that builds trust—a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.

Authenticity Creates Trust

When we are authentic, people can sense it. There’s an ease in the conversation, a sense of being seen and heard, a mutual understanding that “what you see is what you get.” That sense of realness invites trust, which is essential whether you're coaching a client, leading a team, or talking with your partner after a long day.

Research backs this up. According to Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and authenticity, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” (The Gifts of Imperfection, 2010). That daily practice isn’t always easy. It takes courage to let the mask slip. But the rewards—connection, resilience, trust—are worth every bit of discomfort.

I remember a time early in my consulting career when I was tempted to present a polished, corporate version of myself. I thought I needed to match a certain mold to earn credibility. But something felt off. I wasn’t connecting. It wasn’t until I shared a personal story about why I was passionate about nonprofit impact—that moment of vulnerability—that the energy in the room shifted. Suddenly, we were having a real conversation. They weren’t just listening to my recommendations—they were engaging, sharing their own stories, building solutions together. That moment taught me a powerful lesson: people don’t want perfect; they want real.

Authenticity Strengthens Resilience

Life throws curveballs, both personally and professionally. And when challenges hit, authenticity becomes not just a virtue, but a tool for resilience. When we’re real with ourselves and others, we’re better equipped to weather the storm. We don’t waste energy pretending or posturing—we use it to adapt, reach out, and lean into our support systems.

Authentic relationships create a safe space where we can be honest about what we’re going through. When someone says, “Me too,” or “You’re not alone,” it affirms our experience and strengthens our capacity to move forward. That sense of solidarity can’t happen without authenticity.

As Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, once said, “What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly” (On Becoming a Person, 1961). That quote continues to resonate with me today. I’ve seen clients unlock their greatest breakthroughs when they stop hiding parts of themselves and start embracing their whole story. I’ve seen leaders earn loyalty not by pretending to have all the answers, but by being honest about what they don’t know and inviting collaboration.

Authenticity Enhances Professional Success

In the professional world, especially, we often confuse professionalism with perfection. But in reality, the most effective leaders, partners, and team members are those who lead with clarity and integrity. Being authentic doesn’t mean oversharing or abandoning professionalism—it means aligning our actions with our values, speaking honestly, and listening with intention.

In coaching sessions, I often guide clients to identify the gap between who they think they need to be and who they truly are. Bridging that gap leads to not only greater personal fulfillment but also professional clarity. Decisions become easier. Communication becomes more effective. Relationships become more collaborative.

And let’s not forget—authenticity is contagious. When we lead with honesty and openness, we give others permission to do the same. That ripple effect can shift team dynamics, change workplace culture, and deepen bonds in our personal lives.

A Daily Commitment

Living authentically isn’t something we perfect; it’s something we practice. Every day offers a new opportunity to choose real over polished, honest over easy, aligned over approved. And every time we make that choice, we reinforce the kind of relationships we want to build—grounded in trust, empathy, and mutual respect.

I’m not perfect at it. None of us are. But I’ve seen the power of authenticity time and again, and I’ve learned to trust it. Because when we show up as ourselves, fully and unapologetically, the right people show up with us.

And that’s where the magic happens.