Speak Up

It’s said that more people are afraid of public speaking than of dying.

That may sound dramatic but having coached and worked with many individuals across industries and backgrounds, I can say confidently: the fear is real, and it’s widespread.

I’ve never personally struggled with a fear of public speaking. In fact, from a young age, I found joy in using my voice to share ideas, inspire action, and connect with others. But that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the nerves, the butterflies, or the weight of responsibility that comes with being heard. And it certainly doesn’t mean I can’t understand what others are going through when they tell me they feel paralyzed just thinking about stepping in front of a group.

Over the years, I've sat beside clients—leaders, students, professionals, and even seasoned experts—whose confidence seemed to melt away the moment they imagined themselves behind a podium. Their hands shook. Their voices cracked. Their thoughts raced. Some avoided speaking altogether, turning down opportunities that could have changed their careers or lives.

Public speaking fear, or glossophobia, affects approximately 77% of people, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. And it makes perfect sense. We are wired for belonging, for connection. Standing up and speaking to a group can feel like exposing your most vulnerable self—risking judgment, criticism, or simply forgetting your words mid-sentence.

But here's the truth I’ve shared with so many: fear doesn’t mean you’re not meant to speak. It simply means you care.

Fear is not a stop sign. It’s an invitation.

In my work, I’ve seen time and again how fear transforms when it's approached with kindness rather than avoidance. I’ve watched nervous speakers become magnetic communicators. I’ve witnessed quiet voices grow strong and sure. And I’ve learned that while the fear may never fully disappear, we can shift our relationship with it.

Here are a few key insights and approaches I often offer to my clients:

Focus on Service, Not Perfection

So often, fear comes from the pressure to perform—to get every word right, to avoid mistakes, to sound like someone else. I remind people to shift their mindset: This isn’t about you; it’s about them. What message do you want to share? How do you want your audience to feel? As Maya Angelou wisely said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” (Angelou, 2009). When you speak from a place of service, fear begins to loosen its grip.

Practice with Kindness

Confidence isn’t magic—it’s built. And it’s built in small, deliberate ways. Start in low-stakes environments. Rehearse with a trusted friend. Join a speaking group like Toastmasters. Hire a public speaking coach. Each time you speak, you’re expanding your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be flawless—it just has to be real.

Breathe and Ground Yourself

Fear lives in the body, so we need tools that bring us back to the present. One of the simplest is mindful breathing. Before speaking, take a few deep, slow breaths. Feel your feet on the ground. Roll your shoulders back. This helps you anchor yourself and interrupt the panic spiral that so often shows up right before you open your mouth.

Reframe the Inner Dialogue

Many people carry an internal monologue that says, You’re not good at this. You’re going to fail. You’ll look foolish. I encourage them to challenge that narrative. Try replacing it with: I’m learning. I’m growing. I have something worth saying. This isn’t about pretending you feel confident—it’s about creating space for a more compassionate, courageous story.

Value your Effort

After every speaking experience—no matter how small or how shaky—acknowledge what went well. Progress builds momentum. I’ve seen people go from speaking in a whisper to leading major presentations simply because they kept showing up, learning, and affirming their growth.

Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” (Mandela, 1995). That quote lives at the heart of every coaching session I offer on public speaking. Because courage isn’t about being fearless—it’s about taking action despite the fear.

If you’re someone who struggles with public speaking, know this: you’re not alone. And you are absolutely capable of moving through it.

Your voice has value. Your story has weight. Your message matters.

And the truth is, the people listening to you? They’re not rooting for you to fail. They want to hear what you have to say. They want you to succeed. And once you begin to believe that the fear may still whisper—but it no longer has the final say.

You don’t need to be a polished orator to make an impact. You just need to show up with heart, intention, and the willingness to grow.

I’m here to say: you can do this.